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One of the difficulties with this chapter has been the gender identity issues, and how to convey them in both an understandable manner without confusing the reader, and obviously still being able to communicate the sentiment (and the natural progression) in the story. I hope I have managed to do this in a meaningful manner.
It was the wee hours of the morning after that fateful encounter with her daughter. Sarah sat with her pen poised over the last few sentences she needed to get down. Her mind kept whirling away though, and it was hard to concentrate.
She didn’t know how, but she was sure her husband knew what she had done. His behaviour to her had been cold and distant. She kept wanting to deny it, kept telling herself that there must be some other reason, but though she couldn’t fathom how he could possibly know, she was sure he did.
If for no other reason, the way he had taken her last night told her. For the first time in her life, he had been ruff, and only interested in his own need. She thought she had even liked it a little, being so used, if only the guilt she felt wasn’t also gnawing away at her.
Now she sat alone at the kitchen table, writing out more betrayals in the dark quiet house. The secrets needed to come out though. She could no longer hold on to them, though she knew Mike would be furious with her.
So she sat alone in the waning night, scribbling out this last betrayal. At least her phone call to her sister before going to bed that night had been more encouraging than she thought it would be. Not as encouraging as she had hoped, but certainly better than she had feared.
Evan came awake slowly, stretching and luxuriating in Emily’s bed. For the first time in what felt ages, he didn’t feel anxious or freaked out at finding himself in the fairer sexes body. In fact he felt quite relaxed and at peace. The strangeness of that realization finally causing him to sit up.
‘Well, at least it’s an improvement? Isn’t it? Yes, it has to be. Calm is good.’
Shaking his head, and deciding that he might as well get on with the day he slipped out of the bed, heading for the en-suite. A shower was just the thing to start the day right.
‘I had sex with mom!’
‘How the hell could I have forgotten that?’
Mind a whirl with thoughts and images he somehow resumed his trek to the shower. His eyes popped open on the way, remembering that today was the day that he and Emily were to head out for a kayaking trip. Excitement trilled through his every nerve. He had been madly looking forward to this ever since he found out about it after that uncomfortable dinner last night.
It was his excitement for getting away and the memory of just why he had been so uncomfortable over a family dinner that had kept him awake long into the night.
Staring at the ceiling, his mind had replayed the scene with his mother over and over, just as it had during dinner. The guilty looks on his mothers face, the blushes on their faces every time their eyes met. His father and Emily noticing and remarking on the odd behaviour.
‘Lord that had been uncomfortable’
And in between replays, he would occasionally contemplate the upcoming trip. Sometimes it had been with more than just a little nervousness at the idea of just what might wind up happening on this trip, but mostly giddy at the prospect of getting away. Just the two of them. Time and privacy to start working things out.
The trip itself would be medicine for the soul as well. Skimming along the clear waters of Georgian Bay, the big open water and the power in it! Feeling the burn of a good exercise, only to roll into the cold water for a momentary cool down, and coming back up refreshed to play on some big waves! Could life be any better?
‘Well, maybe if some hot little thing was going with us. Emily could watch us! And then join in! Finally get inside…’
His steps faltered, ‘I didn’t just think that last bit in a fantasy sort of way did I? No! No, of course not!’
Shaking his head at his antics, he slipped out of the negligee his mother had given him, carefully hanging it on a hook, and turned the shower water on hot.
‘Shit. I did just fantasize about Emily. Emily in my body. As in…’
No! He didn’t want to finish that thought, and so refused to. Pushing it firmly out of his mind, he stepped into the shower feeling the heat soak into his skin.
After a few moments to relax and relish in the warmth soaking into him, he began to soap and wash up. His mind was troubled though. Images and thoughts of the previous day when he had been lying underneath his mother on the bed assailed him.
He tried to push it all away, but the feel of Emily’s body under his hands as he washed was distracting to say the least. Good lord but her skin felt so smooth and warm, so enticing!
‘Well, I do need to find cebeci escort out if I can make myself orgasm now, don’t I?’
Slowly, his right hand dropped down over his stomach, and then lower yet. For the first time as his hand slid down over his sex, he wasn’t assailed with a sense of loss at not feeling his cock waiting for him.
Not to say that it wasn’t weird to feel a pussy where his dick should be, it certainly was, but there wasn’t an overwhelming sense of panic or loss. Instead, there was some wonderment. He actually had his very own pussy that he could play with whenever he wanted to! And of course, he found that he did indeed want to.
At first he simply explored and experimented a little, seeing what various things felt like. After a little bit though, things started to feel good. Really good.
He heard a low feminine moan escape him, causing the stray thought of how a woman pleasuring herself was one of the sexiest things in the world.
‘And that’s just what I look like right now!’
That thought had a decidedly giddy tone to it, as though he liked it. His subconscious, (or was it his conscious) mind didn’t like where that led to, and he almost stopped.
In the end though he was already too worked up, and so he pushed it aside and concentrated on the physical sensations. Sensations that were delicious! Before he knew what he was doing his middle finger was slipping inside, the ‘come hither’ motion plying against the roof of his vagina.
“Oh fuck!” he heard himself whisper in Emily’s voice driving him wild, and the next thing he knew he had the shower head in the other hand. Somewhat curious if such a thing actually did feel good, or if it was just a myth, he used his left hand to hold the spray up close against his clitoral region.
It was pretty good he supposed, but with a little disappointment, at least until he remembered the pulsating mode. A quick flick of the outer ring and he found divine pleasure.
“Holly fucking shit!” he moaned as his hips gyrated on his finger while the shower head pulsated against his clit. In moments he felt an orgasm building and for once nothing stopped him.
A few more times curling his finger, and he felt his hips buck, his legs shaking as his vagina clenched down on his finger.
Realizing that he was getting rather vocal with his climax, he dropped the shower head and bit on his left index finger trying to quieten himself as he shook with the aftershocks of orgasm.
That’s when he glanced up and saw himself in the mirror above the vanity. He looked to himself so much like a woman in need of a good fucking that he froze, staring at himself.
It felt akin to a bucket of ice water, instantly damping his ardour.
Knocking briefly on his sons door, he stepped into the room, and found Evan just finishing up with getting dressed. A surge of pride washed through him unexpectedly, and he couldn’t help but to grin at his son, even though Evan didn’t seem pleased to have him walk in on him.
“What is it dad?”
“Just wanted to take a minute and ask that you take especial care on your trip, and of your sister. I know the two of you are quite accomplished with those kayaks, or I wouldn’t condone this. Georgian Bay is nothing to be trifled with though. So either you look me in the eye, and promise to be careful, or trips off! I mean it!”
“I promise dad. You know I’ll always take care of Emily.”
“Alright then, your,” he coughed to cover his grimace, “mother has prepared a hearty breakfast to see you off.”
He turned to leave the room, knowing that Evan had perceived that something was amiss, but hoped he wouldn’t think too much of it.
His wife’s betrayal was hard for him, there was no way around that, but he still cursed himself for being a weak fool and allowing his emotions to get the better of him. Allowing them to show.
Unfortunately he stormed out of the room and right into Sarah.
“I was just coming to call the kids to come eat.” she stammered, uncharacteristically off balance.
‘Is it just guilt, or has she figured out that I know?’
She sat in the car, waiting for Evan, rather ruefully reflecting on how it was now her turn to be waiting on a woman rather than the other way around.
‘Seriously though, what could be taking her, or him so long?’
Just as she finished the thought, Evan came through the front door, waiving goodbye to their parents, looking like a goddess of sexuality and beauty.
Emily felt her jaw slacken, and immediately became uncomfortably aware of her new pet monster, as she had taken to referring to it as.
He was wearing a pencil skirt with a high waist line, and a short silk brocade blouse. The combination really made to accentuate his hour glass figure. Also, she had to give him props. He was already much sturdier in those high heels.
‘Damn, not cebeci escort bayan just sturdier, but more graceful than I ever was. Or will ever be! Why oh why has he gone and dressed like that though? Hmm, questions to be asked!’
She jumped out of the car, and hurried around to the passenger door to open it for him, aware of the incongruity of it given their true identities.
“Wow, such a gentleman today!” Evan teased after she had gotten back around the car and was climbing in.
She cocked an eye at him as she started the car up, “Yes, well you are looking like such a lady that I just couldn’t help myself!” she fired back, and was rewarded with a sublime blush.
Never one to allow such a juicy tidbit go easily, as soon as she had the car moving down the street away from the house, she noted the faint line under his skirt, and reached out snapping the garter against his leg. “So… Why Evan? Why are you dressed to the nines? And so lady like?”
“It’s not… It’s just all I had left! All the sporty type clothes you had are packed in the dry bag! I needed something to wear!”
“Oh come on now!” she drawled. “Do you take me for a fool? You didn’t need a garter belt — Is it a garter belt, or do you have something even more interesting on under that blouse? – to wear on a car trip. I bet you even have some skimpy little lacy knickers on don’t you? I’m thinking thong?”
She couldn’t help but to grin madly at the way he squirmed in his seat. “Come on Evan out with it! I never even wore a garter belt! Why are you?”
“No! Why would I? Why are you?” she hammered away at him. There was a need for her to know. She was becoming very happy as a man, but feeling guilty about it. If Evan was taking to being a woman though…?
“You’re not going…”
“No I’m not. Now answer me!”
“It’s hard to explain…”
“Humph! Why are you so interested?”
Oh the little brat! He was going to draw this out. How to answer him though. “Well for one thing I want to know if I should start thinking of you as my sister. I would be just fine with that you know! I could be the big brother you never had!” ‘Or your lover!’
“Alright, so… I think part of it has to do with how I always appreciated a woman in sexy yet elegant clothes. Don’t hate me, but I may have kind of told mom to go ahead and throw out most of your old things. She’s been very generous with helping to re-outfit your wardrobe. And I kind of got to have a lot of fun picking out the kinds of clothes I’d love to see you wearing.”
“You sneaky little bas… no… sneaky little bitch!” Was she appalled? No, she quickly realized she was more shocked than angry. “All my old jeans? And my t-shirts?” He kept nodding as she glared at him. ‘No. Not him! From now on she is Emily to me! If she wants to remake who Emily is, she can be Emily to me. I’ll be Evan!’
She watched her kids pull out of the driveway, for the last time. The next time she saw them, they would all be living somewhere else. Pray that they would still be a family. Mike was obviously not happy with her, and he didn’t even know yet about the letter she had given her daughter. All those old secrets, that would come out when she read it. Not until tonight though. She had secured a promise from her that she would wait until tonight to read it. And decide for herself if she wanted to share it with Evan.
Taking a deep breath to try and bolster her courage, she turned to Mike, the love of her life. “So, you obviously know that I… that I had… ah, sex with Emily?”
The look on his face said it all. There was no shock at all.
“Yes. I walked in on you, and you didn’t even notice you were so deep up her cunt!”
She could feel her cheeks burn. That she perhaps deserved the heated words was all that kept her from stoking up her own anger at being talked to in such a way. It was hard though.
“Well, if you can try to be civil with me, I could perhaps try and explain why.”
“Why!” he burst out. “I don’t think I need to know why! Only that you did!”
“I’m sorry baby. I’m so sorry, but Mike, there are extenuating circumstances here! Please? Please let me try to explain?”
“Extenuating circumstances! You had sex with our daughter!” he stared at her unbelieving.
“Mike dear, I came home from dropping Evan off at school and found her in her room crying. Emily Mike! She was crying!”
That had gotten his attention at least a little. He knew his daughter well, and knew just as she did how uncharacteristic that was for her. She went on, “I accidentally walked in on her, naked, and obviously trying to masturbate but crying. I didn’t know what to do. I was so concerned, but I held her, and comforted her, and eventually I got it out of her that she couldn’t orgasm. She had developed some sort of mental block. She was trying so hard to give herself a escort cebeci release, and needed it, but just couldn’t. I had the feeling that this had been going on for some time. I still don’t know what all is behind it. Maybe she’s denying being a lesbian to herself, maybe something else, I just don’t know. In that moment though, all I could think was that she desperately needed a release, and that maybe if one was pushed on her, that it would get her past whatever the block was.”
“So you… you. You had sex with her?”
“Well yes. I’m sorry Mike, but yes I did. I don’t know what I was thinking, but it seemed to work. The first one, dear lord Mike if you knew how hard she fought not to climax. I had to eat her, and I mean eat her hard for thirty minutes or so, pulling out all the stops, but finally she came. Came like a freight train. The next few orgasms she had came so easily after that first one.”
“Sarah… Oh fuck me this is such an awkward conversation, but when I walked in on you, you were in the sixty nine with her. If all this was to get her off, why is it that she was getting you off as well?”
It was a fair question. She could wish he hadn’t asked it, but it was fair. At least he seamed to be calming down. Not so angry anymore. It took a little while, but she explained about how she had used their daughters lesbian desire to help push her over the edge, how she had promised her a reward for allowing herself to climax.
When she was finished explaining it all Mike stood staring at her so long she became uncomfortable again, “I’m sorry Mike, maybe some of it came from my own latent desires recently coming to the surface. I don’t know. And I’m really sorry about this Mike, but I have to say that going back in time, I would probably do it all over again. Emily’s happiness is the most important thing to me, as I know it is to you too, and it seems to have worked. Or even been needed. Like I said, while I was letting her have her reward, she had several more orgasms easily.”
It sounded preposterous even to her own ears, but there it was. She was prepared to defend her actions, but then Mike was suddenly there in front of her. She felt his hand at the back of her head, firmly grabbing her hair and pushing her down as his other struggled with his pants.
Almost before she knew what was happening, she was on her knees, his dick sliding into her mouth. All she could think was, ‘Oh yes! He’s going to be ruff with me again! Why do I want him to use me like that? Oh ya, because it was so good!’
It had been a quiet few minutes since his sister had pulled something of a confession as to why he was dressed this way from him. He was just glad that she had let it go so easily.
So now he sat back as they headed up highway six, and though he knew he had promised his mother to keep the letter unopened until tonight, his burning curiosity was getting the better of him. He pulled it out, ripped it open and began reading as Emily drove.
Dear Emily, there is so much that I need to tell you about, that as I sit here I am finding it difficult to start. I suppose though, that first I should start by saying how much I hope that what happened between us is alright with you. I certainly never expected to go and have sexual relations with my daughter, but I am not sorry for it. At least not as long as it helped you. That is all I really care about; your happiness. Though it obviously can’t happen again, you perhaps should know though, that I thoroughly enjoyed it. I hope you did too?
More important though, are the things that have been kept from you. Things that will not be easy for you to hear about. I’ve always wished I could tell you, but now given that you may soon be having a sexual relationship with your brother, I feel you have that much more right to know about.
I’ll start by telling you about Owen. You will have never heard about him before, but he was your fathers cousin and closest friend growing up. I regret that I never got the chance to really know Owen well, but what I can tell you of him, is that he was much like your father. A real good man, that just had this quality about him that drew people to him, perhaps even more so than your father. A wicked sense of humour, but a light heart.
Unfortunately Owen had cancer during our last year of school together, and it was very hard on your father to watch his best friend wasting away.
Anyway, your father and I had already become sexually active with each other, but I had no birth control, and we couldn’t always afford condoms. I was squeamish about it at first, but your father convinced me to try anal with him, as a sort of poor mans birth control. I was shocked to find that I particularly enjoy it. (So, please feel free to come to me for advice if you think you may ever want to give it a try.)
I know you must be feeling lost and really wondering why I’m telling you all this, but please stick with me here. There are very important reasons.
Anyhow, one night with your father, I made a comment about how it must be wondrous for a woman to have two cocks in her at once, and lamented how I would never get to find out, because I was hopelessly his, and would never cheat on him.
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